Everyone has insecurities or bad moments, there’s not a single person in this entire world that has a perfect life. You might see tons of beautiful pictures on instagram, pretty faces in magazines, watch lots of reality shows and it seems like those people don’t have a thing to worry about. I say that’s ..you know the word. The only thing that makes us look up to other people (which can be good thing if you choose a good role model) is the fact that their job is to inspire others. And that’s great! The bad part is actually that a lot of women and even men compare themselves to their favorite celebrity or whoever it is they like and of course in their mind they’re going to feel inferior. My advice in this situation would be to become more aware of youself and try to invest all of your energy in things that make you feel and look good instead of these “i want to be like…” thoughts. We are unique and that’s exactly what’s beautiful in being a living soul, there’s nobody like you (and I don’t mean physically). You have your own great potential to become whoever you want to be, but in a genuine way.
Another type of situation that could bring your self confidence to a low level is when you think about yourself what others tell you to think. People will always treat you the way you treat yourself.
Building self confidence is just as hard as building a house: you put one brick after another and it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. Now, if you invite people to come to your new house, that could be a positive or negative thing. If you invite a friend that comes with gifts and joy to your place, things will be perfect and your house will have pretty new things inside, but what do you do when you invite a person that doesn’t like you and doesn’t have good intentions towards you or your place? He or she might do something wrong and your place will become a disaster.
My point in this little comparison is that we live in our own world, in our own house that we build for ourselves and it’s only fair to take good care of it. Most people that lack self confidence have this problem because either they don’t like something about themselves or they’ve allowed other people to tell them bad things about their lives, their jobs, their bodies, dreams and so on. However, luckily we can find solutions for almost everything in life!
My advice for you in this case is to take into consideration other people’s opinion about you only if you are 100% sure they are honest and they tell it in a nice way (because these people obviously love you and don’t want to hurt you). Never see yourself through other people’s eyes or change because they want to change you. Never listen to words like: “oh common.. you know you can’t do it”, “you’ll never get that job” or “you’re not good enough to get there” because they will only bring you down and if you’re a sensitive person like myself, you will feel these words like a punch in the face and might lose all of your self esteem. Don’t let anyone inside your bubble, inside the house you’ve built, not even if it’s a relative or a friend that doesn’t realise how his opinion may affect you. Not everyone has bad intentions, they might judge certain things in a wrong way – if they see themselves like they’re not good enough or they can’t achieve certain things, they tend to think no one is capable.
Another situation I can think of is when you really hate or you simply don’t like something about yourself. Most of the times, there are physical things like getting too fat, the shape of your nose etc. The sooner you understand we’re not defined by things like this, the better. However, you might be able to change those things but never change them because you’re afraid of what others think about you. Change them because you want to improve the quality of your life by being healthier or breathing better for example. So get in the gym and do your best, but do it for yourself, because you love yourself. This is something that applies to other things as well, like makeup for example. When I wear makeup, I do it because I like to see myself in the mirror being all glammed up and I’m having fun with it. I don’t care if others like it or not, I like it and that matters the most (I’m not saying “go out as a clown with a lot of makeup, it doesn’t matter what others think about you”, I’m talking about wearing what you like with a little common sense).
And the last thing that affects so many people is the lack of forgiveness. Not only it affects our health but it also affects our relationships, causing stress and making our self confidence drop. If you made bad decisions, things that you can’t forgive yourself for, try again and again until you succeed. Life is too short to live like this. Let those things go from your mind completely and move on. You can make up for those bad things you did in the past only if you decide to do good things in the future. If you cannot forgive yourself is because you feel really sorry and God knows it, so it’s okay to move on.
If someone else did something bad to you and you stick to that thought every day, you will make your life miserable and you will always feel like you’re missing things because you cling to the past. Forgive him or her and you will feel so much happier!